The action of consenting to receive or undertake (take action on), something offered. Acceptance = To acknowledge the difficulty in your life without escaping from it or avoiding it. Realize that you can be in control of how you think, feel, and react. Yes, you really can. It takes a discipline of choosing to not indulge in what you know is selfish, harmful behavior and the willingness to change — just like the decision we made with our primary addiction.
Even as you may react negatively to something that has happened, you realize that any actions that come from a negative state of mind will continue to promote suffering. If you are brave enough to act with mindfulness and gentleness, you know that the effect will be one of growth and peace. All of this takes place in your mind and is all about YOU. Many find themselves caught in seemingly inescapable cycles of fear, doubt, worry, and anxiety "perceived" as being so real.
The action of consenting to receive or undertake (take action on), something offered. Acceptance = To acknowledge the difficulty in your life without escaping from it or avoiding it. Realize that you can be in control of how you think, feel, and react. Yes, you really can. It takes a discipline of choosing to not indulge in what you know is selfish, harmful behavior and the willingness to change — just like the decision we made with our primary addiction.
We do not blindly accept any and all situations and say, ‘oh well.’ Acceptance is the first step in recognizing an awareness of knowing a situation for what it honestly is. Not just our personal twist, denial, or manipulation of what we want it to be. A very straightforward, simple, and real knowing of what it is. No story lines, no blame, or guilt.
We take a breath, calm ourselves, and then accept it for what it is, not good or bad, but IS. We can then decide what course of action, if any, would be best to take. A course of action informed by our values, our hearts, and a spiritual sense of reality — even if it's difficult or uncomfortable. The first step is accepting the fact that you are personally responsible for whatever your state of mind is.
“You couldn't relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole — like the world, or the person you loved.” ― Stewart O'nan.
“When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did.” John Green, Looking for Alaska.
“I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don't want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It's high time that I accept all the great things about me.” - C. Joy Bell.
Acceptance means opening up and making room for painful feelings and sensations. You learn how to drop the struggle with them, give them some breathing space, and let them be there without getting all caught up in them, or overwhelmed by them. The more you can open up, and give them room to move, the easier it is for your feelings to come and go without draining you or holding you back. For transformation to take place, we have to actually make friends with our mind. We have to learn to like ourselves.
This is where meditation helps us to accept our thoughts, create space, and then bring the mind back to the neutral breath. Always begin your meditation with a sense of gratitude and acceptance in your heart. This is the opposite of a “get rich quick” scheme. It only comes from the willingness to be with yourself, nakedly, openly, and lovingly, again and again over a long period of time, without engaging in soap operas and resentments. Liking yourself is the result of acceptance. This is a radical way of thinking. Come on — you’ve always wanted to be a radical, haven’t you?
Find solutions instead of complaining. It is completely meaningless to complain about things. Negative people drain themselves and everyone around them. Instead, ask yourself, “What can I do to solve the problem?” And if you can’t solve it, where can you focus your energy more productively? What things can you control?
Practice letting go. How can you accept a devastating loss or change? For example, imagine that you couldn’t ever walk again. You would have two choices. First, to hold on to the way things were and live in a fantasy world regretting what was, or being afraid of what will be.
The second choice would be to accept life the way it is. The ability to let go of things in everyday life makes for happiness and ease. You can even laugh when you miss a bus that’s departed five minutes early. Ask yourself often when you feel yourself tighten up, “Am I taking this personally?” Start out by accepting small things, such as stepping on a chewing gum or losing some change. Is it raining? Ok, it’s raining. Have your dinner or travel plans changed? Okay, can you drop your expectations and enjoy what comes next? You’ll be surprised; bit-by-bit, you’ll be able to let go of most mishaps that come your way. Let beauty in.
Learn to see and appreciate what you have, as opposed to giving too much attention to what you’ve lost or what you were/are hoping for. Open up to what is truly beautiful and important in life. Take on the curiosity of a child. Open up and explore life as if it were your first day here. No time is better spent than knowing yourself, and fully accepting and LOVING yourself. Your choices will then seem to flow from a river of bounty.
- How do you fill your bucket? One acceptance at a time.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
- The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for.
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